独りのспутник

and had i thought, there was no way to express,

the loneliness of living alone in a crowd,

the pain of losing someone who was your only friend,

the slow but sure transition into an empty husk,

where you, clinging onto the already fading memories,

from a whole, to a half, and eventually to a zero.

and yet, continuing to live out this present life,

not whole, only a half, maybe less,

not feeling, only going through the motions,

not dead, only to move aimlessly,

just clutching at whatever that occupies,

to distract from whatever little hope left.

and so, with this little glimmer,

that allows you to continue to function,

that you hide so deeply inside,

that you have almost forgotten its existance,

for a future you pray, a real one,

where what you have lost, you will regain.

"I felt like I was some meaningless bug clinging for no special reason to a high stone wall on a windy night, with no plans, no beliefs." 村上