The twisting agony of the heart

Since a day along the riverside,
a table for 2 - outside a restaurant
what they ate, he can't remember
his mind filled only with questions,
of why, what, had gone wrong.

'Twas a holiday too,
commemorating a death of a saviour,
and yet then he was still unfamiliar
with how the saviour works,
how He is like, what He does by saving.

Perhaps it was for that very reason,
unspoken, but looming large,
or for another one, subtle creeping in,
destroying the supports of
the precariously reaching out of love.

And now he finds himself drifting in and out
never staying long, always looking,
partly afraid, partly hopeful, always wishful,
but never able to be the same as the first time,
for the heart wound remembers.