無限の風

Unity

2011-09-23T00:46:00.000+08:00

by Lisa Komine

Stand up together 動き始めた　願い
Whenever, Wherever 新たな旅立ち　迎えよう

失いかけていた Soul　呼び覚ました Confide in you
不確かな未来さえ　信じられる The testify
共にした日々を　一つ、二つと　集め
咲いた　ぬくもり　強く　握りしめ

Whenever, Wherever　互いに寄り添い
恐れる事などない　闇が二人分かつとも
確かな鼓動がそう告げているから
再び出会えるまで　想いよ　どうか　君と共に

微かに息づいた Hope　追いかけては Rely on you
不安かき消すように　君を見つけた Tragic fate
ここにいる意味を　強く、強く　噛み締め
背負う　運命　堅くつなぎとめ

Stand up together　互いに手を取り
怯える事などない　光　奪い去られても
重なる想いが　覚えているから
再び出会えるまで　救いよ　どうか　君のため

Whenever, Wherever 互いに寄り添い
恐れる事などない　闇が二人分かつとも
確かな鼓動がそう告げているから
再び出会えるまで　想いよ　どうか　君と共に

______________________________________________________________________________
Translation:

Stand up together, the wish has begin to stir
Whenever, wherever, let's welcome a new journey

The soul which I had lost had awaken, confide in you
Even the uncertain future can be believed in, the testify
The days we spent together, one by one coming together
Hold on tightly to the warmth that has bloomed.

Whenever, wherever, we snuggled up into each other
There will be nothing to be afraid of, even of the darkness separates us two,
Because the throbbing of my heart tells me so
Until we are able to meet again, somehow, keep these emotions together with you.

As I sighed softly of hope, chasing after it rely on you.
In order to erase this anxiety, you met with a tragic fate.
The meaning of being here, I have strongly, strongly contemplated
Burden, fate, stubbornly tied together.

Stand up together, as we hold our hands together
There is nothing to be scared of, even if the light were to be taken away,
Because I am able to remember these intertwined experiences
Until we are able to meet again, somehow, salvation may come for your sake.

Whenever, wherever, we snuggled up into each other

There will be nothing to be afraid of, even of the darkness separates us two,
Because the throbbing of my heart tells me so
Until we are able to meet again, somehow, keep these emotions together with you.

_____________________________________________________________________________

I think this song fits Gosick very well. <3

Kaleidoscope revisted - in L:R

2011-09-20T00:10:00.000+08:00

L : R

5 4 3 2 1... : a hazy vision

can it be done, the 1 in 5 : pound pound beep beep

straight rows of yellow sodium : bokeh weaving through the trees

can I make it cross the road : red man green man headlights

R : L

white lamps casting harsh shadows : dilapated paths with random joggers

thumping and psh-ing in my ears : the world out there is deadly quiet

focusing on the things in front of me : I can't see clearly beyond my fingers

the endorphins : the adrenaline

Lilium

2011-09-19T17:38:00.001+08:00

lights

2011-09-15T01:23:00.001+08:00

I took off my glasses on the way home today,
a midnight ride along the bright streets.
The lights suffused over my visual field,
the sodium yellow, the happy red,
the living green and the neutral amber.
They exploded over each other,
each like a mini firework the size of a coin
overlapping, complementing, accentuating.
Winking at me as they flirted through
the dense leaves and the slender posts,
urging me to join in their dance.
'twas like a fantasy world,
where colours meld into each other
joining together in a mass of festival
all dreamy-like in the bokeh background.

Thoughts: if only I have conscious control over the focus of my eyes... like the focus ring of a camera lens.

Music sense

2011-09-14T20:01:00.001+08:00

"Music is one of the ways we make sense of our lives, one of the ways in which we express feelings when we have no words, a way for us to understand things with our hearts when we can't with our minds."

http://www.bostonconservatory.edu/music/karl-paulnack-welcome-address

(thanks jx for the wonderful link)

qiito

2011-09-14T17:03:00.000+08:00

http://www.qiito.com/
http://www.facebook.com/QiiTOfans

Yes such a shock that the idea is so similar.

*site is not working right now dunno why

sick

2011-09-13T20:24:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I spent a sick day alone at home, rather quiet day spent napping and recovering from this flu. Good thing it is not so hazy today.

unfair advantage

2011-09-09T02:03:00.001+08:00

recently I have been seeing advertisements of products touting good performance to gamers, in the form of less lag, less ping, increased accuracy, faster response time etc... with this tagline "gain an unfair advantage over your friends/opponents/enemies" - which led me wondering, why are these services/products unfair? you pay more for your internet connection to get better connections, you buy a better mouse/keyboard to help you aim better... it's not something that your friends/opponents cannot buy, nor is it against any specific rules or ethics of online gaming... It is advantageous to have better hardware to play with, but it is not like using a map-hack, a aimbot or a scriptbot.

in my era (I guess I am old...) when playing as a child, we would shout "Unfair!" if someone was cheating in a game... it usually (almost definitely) has a negative connotation to it. however, if I were to take the marketing tactics into context, youths (/gamers) of today do not think that being unfair or cheating is something bad. In fact, it is a secret desire of them to have an "unfair" advantage over their peers so that they can be superior over them? or how else should I interpret the marketing slogan?

playing games is all about fun and enjoyment. yes I had my share of exploiting exploits... but the fun came from figuring how to exploit the system and not about using cheats and exploits to be #1 in the server... which is why games which are easily exploitable quickly become obsolete from my playing collection... once I figure out the exploits and use the exploits a few times I quickly get bored of the game. On the other hand, skill based games or story based games held my attention much longer than games which just focuses on grinding and grinding and grinding... do the gamers of nowadays think that having the unfair advantage would enable them to derive more pleasure out of the game? I cannot answer for them but my answer would probably be no.

On a side note - I am still very amused by Leticia's insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

Goodnight world.

the company of myself

2011-07-13T16:48:00.001+08:00

a game i played quite a while back... suddenly thought about it today... i like the music.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/518729

weekends

2011-05-21T01:23:00.001+08:00

should be a period of time where one recharges and do the things that they want to do but have no time to do in the weekdays, due to work or other commitments.

I think a superior should not give you last minute work (especially if it is their own work), expecting the subordinate to finish within 3-4 hours just because "it is due on the day itself, and I am busy in the lab". And if the subordinate has prior commitments on that day itself, the superior should not ask the subordinate to finish it over the weekend. Several reasons why.

1) It IS the superior's work. The subordinate is clueless about what the superior is doing, will have to spend some time reading about it before being able to start work on it. - It is very inefficient, and even if the subordinate manages to complete the work on the day itself, it will be a lousy job unless the subordinate has full knowledge of the matter.

2) If it is due on the day itself, asking your subordinate to complete it for you at the last minute shows that you a) don't care about the work that needs to be completed; and/or b) have a lack of planning skills, asking someone less well-versed to complete your work.

3) If it can be done over the weekend, why can't the superior do it himself? He is not going to stay in the lab the whole weekend right?

It leads me to conclude that the superior does not care about the work that needs to be completed, nor does he care about his subordinates as a human being - to him, they are probably tools that can be used to complete tasks.

Of course, all of these are in the point of view of a disgruntled subordinate. It is definitely biased, and the whole world can say "welcome to the working world" for all I care. I do not believe in these kind of working habits and environment, especially when they are constantly enforced on the subordinate.

The superior also attended the event that the subordinate was preparing the whole afternoon for, refusing to acknowledge receipt of the subordinate's reply that finishing the work during the weekend is impossible as he has a whole day event on during Saturday. The superior also ignored the subordinate's presence in the event, preferring to mingle in the presence of higher ups.

心は大切だから

2011-04-08T18:09:00.001+08:00

見失いで

Park Amsterdam - Sakamoto Maaya

2011-04-02T01:35:00.000+08:00

one day, sitting in a tree
i couldn't help but notice you there in the park
you weren't like all the others
you could fit me in your pocket
and just seemed so large

but then you really tried to talk to me
we chatted all about your mom and everything
and if somebody pointed out the fact you have no wings...
wouldn't mean a thing

and like a dream we saw the world together
"goodbye" to differences
"hello" to each other
harmony
unity
day and night
you and me
and paradise

met the queen of hearts
while out dancing on the lake
and she asked us to a party
"you can bring some friends
but don't be late"

climbed aboard a bus
and it drove us to the castle
but we didn't have to pay
cause the driver was the jester's brother

sadly sighed the king
cause somebody took his cake
so we gave him some of ours
and he smiled so wide
he at his plate

he asked you to sing
and i won't forget the faces
or the awful melody
you and jester singing out of key

not a better time
could be had for all the moment
the king beamed, "allow me please"
"let my ballon take you across the ocean"
(you and me across the ocean,
in his ballon, you and me and harmony)

didin't try to put me in a cage of your convenience
like some others have
instead you took me to your favorite garden in Manhattan
and we had a laugh

along the way i fell in love with you
don't think i could ever get enough of you
and if somebody pointed out the fact that you can't sing...
wouldn't mean a thing

God's glory

2011-03-27T23:38:00.002+08:00

God glorifies himself so that all may come to know him;
And that those who claim glory for themselves out of God's hands are not justified in doing so - for doing so would be like a pot claiming that it is beautiful and wonderful, disregarding the skill of the potter's hands that shaped it.

timetravellove and other random stuff

2011-03-27T01:37:00.003+08:00

I finally watched (most of) 不能说的秘密. such a lovely film. except for the CG-y parts.

I think I need more sleep. sleeping at 4-5am on fridays/saturdays seem to have become a norm. not good. I don't even repay my debts.

I think emotions is a tool. I might be often seen smiling, laughing, whining, exasperated, but hardly angry. Even when I become angry it is a controlled emotion, or rather a tool, to elicite a certain outcome. Hotheadness anger do not come often for me... or so I would like to believe.

Today I was trying to use anger to get something a child took from me. Being the patient sort at first I endulged in him, playing along with his game of catch. However it went overboard after repeated attempts of him taking my items and lying about the whereabouts (plus other people were waiting for me to go off), I sternly demanded that he return my item. Multiple times. Before I became angry. And threatened to overturn the sofa. And lifted the sofa for show. That was when he finally gave me back my item.

Am I behaving childishly? Maybe. Am I wrong to put on emotions to serve my needs? I don't know. At least my emotions were under my control - I think that is a good thing, especially for anger. I might not be able to do so for other emotions, but those would need further working on.

もういいよ

2011-03-18T00:26:00.002+08:00

もう動かなければならないんだ。

2011-03-17T11:06:00.001+08:00

心が折れたら、どうする

concern

2011-03-17T10:03:00.003+08:00

cyrnfr fgbc fpernzvat ng zr gur zbzrag lbh fcrnx gb zr - vg qbrfa'g ernyyl fubj gung lbh ner pbaprearq; vs lbh ner.

black stains on forehead

2011-03-11T00:36:00.001+08:00

ただ疲れているんだ

2011-03-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

一人になりたい夜

2011-02-12T22:14:00.002+08:00

Dreamless

2011-01-31T23:34:00.002+08:00

Oh you who art dreamless
You who shape your life around those you love,
living for purposes of others,
Trying to understand their life and motives,
Assisting them in colouring their dreams,
Loving them with pure emotions.

But you, you who have no dreams.
You drift around like a balloon without a string,
You let yourself be drifted by the seasonal winds,
You are tossed around by the whimsical drafts,
You do not even have a destination,
A homeless spirit with no tomb.

You feed on the happiness of others,
But yet for all the happiness you can create,
You are constantly malnourished.
Isn't it time when you learn to dream, to steer, to love passionately,
To create your own little happiness,
Instead of running away time and again.

26581124122

2011-01-16T23:49:00.002+08:00

If I were to be only known for my achievements thus far, I would be called 26581124122, or some other variant/permutation. Pleased to meet you.

Finding the rhythm of life

2011-01-13T01:22:00.000+08:00

Perhaps I had never noticed the innate pattern, perhaps I wasn't exposed to it when I was young. Perhaps I have intentionally suppressed it over the years, perhaps there will never be such a thing. However, right now I am trying to find the rhythm of life - of my life, my innate movement and flow, my ebb and my surge, my tempo and my rest, my push and my pull. My oneness with myself.

Not dreaming

2011-01-10T00:14:00.001+08:00

It struck me how little I dream, or even remember I was dreaming these few weeks. At least at night in bed. Was dozing off in sermon today, half thinking half formed thoughts, and dreaming a lot. I don't remember what I was daydreaming about, but at least I was moving around in my dreamworld, interacting with dream people. I need to sleep more but bad habits and circumstances probably prevents me from doing so.

記憶

2011-01-08T02:24:00.000+08:00

Da Silva Lane

This address seems so familiar, perhaps it is where my lower pri form teacher stayed. I remember that she invited the class over to her house once before, and I remember watching Peter Pan for the first and only time there. I remember the clock in the alligator, Wendy being forced off the plank, Captain Hook's ... hook, Peter Pan and Tinkerbell flying around. However I didn't even remember that I could blog this using my IPT on the taxi ride home, until I was debating whether to switch on my laptop at home. Memory is a funny thing. I have no impression of certain happenings at all, while some (?)repressed memories come out in an instant at some trigger. And possibly some of my memories are fake/self-created, to fill gaps, to maintain logical flow etc. I hope I still can differentiate between reality and made-up thoughts though.

Today's lucky number is 4. According to the dice.

Streetlight people

2010-12-09T00:41:00.000+08:00

Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night...

Nicesong+Glee+soundhound+mic+blogpress

貴方の話しが聞きたい

2010-11-24T01:34:00.001+08:00

A silvery globe, glittering and shiny - held down by a length of pink ribbon, held down, prevented from floating away. It veers left and right, heedless of the little girl holding the other end of the string, bumping against the people to the left and right. With eyes full of wonder and adoration, the little girl withdraws the pink ribbon, pulling the silver balloon towards herself. She looks at her own reflection in the silvered surface, occasionally polishing it with an embarrassed, half hearted gesture.

Sometimes I only remember after lights out. Sometimes I don't remember at all.

What's your story?

what's the point

2010-11-23T23:39:00.004+08:00

of me reviewing your paper, editing them, correcting them, inserting comments - when all you do is to "accept all changes" and ignore the comments, then forward them to all the authors for "comments before submission". and when someone points out the same things as I do, you forward me their commented version and ask me to make changes. I read their comments and
HELLO I HAVE ALREADY SAID EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS! JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A PHD/I WAS NOT INVOLVED IN THE EXPERIMENTS/I AM YOUR SUBORDINATE/I SUPPOSEDLY KNOW NOTHING DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN IGNORE MY COMMENTS AND THEN TELL ME TO MAKE CHANGES. THERE IS A REASON WHY I PUT THINGS IN COMMENTS... BECAUSE YOU, YES YOU, ARE SUPPOSED TO READ THEM AND DO THE CORRECTIONS YOURSELF. IT'S YOUR EXPERIMENT. IT'S YOUR PAPER. NOBODY ELSE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY, WHICH OF THE SETS OF CONFLICTING DATA IS CORRECT, WHERE YOU GOT YOUR EQUATION FROM. WHY SHOULD I "DO CORRECTIONS" TO YOUR PAPER AGAIN? YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING TO IGNORE MY COMMENTS AGAIN.

Once in a while I need to type in allcaps.

from Dears by Gackt

2010-11-18T23:12:00.002+08:00

..................................................................................

たとえどんなに傷....も
どれだけ傷つくこ...になっても
誰にも僕は止められない

..................................................................................

oh how I love his (MARS live) platinum box CD.

Another grey day in the big blue world

2010-11-05T17:52:00.002+08:00

Sakamoto Maaya

And now she wakes to another grey day
In the Big Blue World
And her room's a tiny cage for a golden bird
O where did love go?

And now the baby, that looks like him,
Starts to cry again
And again, again, eternally over again
Do rivers ever end?

Count a thousand drops of rain
Washed down the drain
Is life the same, in a way?

Catch the bus that never comes
Clouds block the sun
Is life the same, in a way?

What will tomorrow bring?
Will birds sing?

And now the flowers in the window box
Seem to bow their heads
As she sits and stares with eyes, sad circles of red
where did love go?

Never a letter or a call
A knock upon the door
So much like life, in a way

Watch the hands move round the clock
Tie time in knots
Life does the same, in a way

What will tomorrow bring?
Will birds sing?

Let the birds sing!

And now she sleeps in an empty bed
Through a starless night
But she dreams of snow-white doves
Bringing branches of love
maybe that's enough

Count a thousand drops of rain
Washed down the drain
Is life the same, in a way?

Catch the bus that never comes
Clouds block the sun
Is life the same, in a way?

Never a letter or a call
A knock upon the door
So much like life, in a way

Watch the hands move round the clock
Tie time in knots
Life does the same, in a way

What will tomorrow bring?
Will birds sing?

時間は誰も待たない

2010-10-11T22:52:00.001+08:00

shopping

2010-09-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

1 FOX yellow hoody
1 asics shoes
1 uniqlo jeans
4 threadless tees
1 wittee monster - widemouthshut (gift)
1 tiger bean "light mascot"(gift)
1 Dlink wireless router
=)

Dear Dlink

2010-09-26T21:28:00.003+08:00

Your product is great. However, "Readed and accept our rules" is unacceptable, in more than one respect.

NBN speeds

2010-09-26T20:49:00.003+08:00

Wireless setup using my lousy 802.11 b/g usb adaptor.

Not too bad =) so much faster than my current cxn.

5 second nightmare

2010-09-11T00:44:00.001+08:00

is as scary as any other nightmares can be.
just one text msg.

desiderata

2010-09-07T23:16:00.002+08:00

A poem quoted by a speaker this evening. I seemed to have seen it somewhere, was it on my boss' desk? shall go find out tmr.

Desiderata

Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Random ramble

2010-09-07T23:15:00.002+08:00

Something random I typed on my iPod a few days ago. Don't even remember what inspired this rant. Very incoherent and rambly.

Are you allowed to learn how to cook while you are helping AIDS stricken kids in Africa? Or what about learning Spanish?or how to dance? My point being, should you be able to pursue your own interests while doing something for the greater good of humanity?

Personally I would think that you should be free to pursue what you want to do, as long as it is not criminally wrong or cause harm to others, but apparently our society doesn't see or feel so. If otherwise why the constant attacks on ministers who go overseas for an expensive culinary lesson? No doubt it's in the middle of a recession, but it is also his own money. Should he donate all his money and love a frugal life? He would then have no means to enjoy his life outside his work, and it may be debatable whether he enjoys his work or not. Not many then, would have the motivation to be a public servant, under the constant scrutiny of the public on how you enjoy yourself. Not many find true passion in the work he does nowadays, but of course this is a discussion for another time. Just a last sentence on this point, people are just doing their jobs as a means of survival, or as a symbol of prestige, a means of getting enough money to enjoy their life when they retire.

Why then are certain people under flak for enjoying the monies that they earn? Much more so than the businessman who does golf, the banker who clubs, the average worker who travels to various countries? Is it because these certain people are called to a higher purpose, so much so that they should dedicate their whole life to it, that they should have no time for the trivial stuff? The humanitarian worker who should not have time doing golf, the teacher who should not be caught clubbing or dancing, the pastor who should not be allowed to travel for leisure because he should devote his life to doing God's work only.

The press should not determine what is right or wrong for the public, all for the sake of sensationalism. There are better things to report, hopefully in a more neutral voice.

SONIC BOOM

2010-08-11T00:08:00.002+08:00

Sakamoto Maaya

覚えている?　陽のひかりで小鳥のように　目覚めた日を
未来なんてあたりまえに　来るものだと思っていた

好きな人とずっといっしょにいたいそんな単純な夢も
叶えられずに　僕らはここで離れてしまうの

早く　いちばん大切な人のところへ
このまま　きみをほんとうに失うその前に
答えはとっくに決まってる想いを　かたちに変えるんだ

そばにいても気づけなくて今になってわかったこと
もしかしたらあの頃より僕は君の近くにいる

力まかせにただ　抱きしめたって守ることはできなくて
僕は大事なものをいくつも壊してきたけど

走れいま自由になる僕の意識
届け原色の羽根に乗って舞い上がれ
きっと間に合う　最果ての向こうで必ず会えるんだ

早くいちばん大切な人のところへ
このまま　きみをほんとうに失うその前に
答えはずっと決まってた　僕たちは知っていた
想いを　かたちに変えるんだ

僕らはそれを未来と呼ぶんだ

Do you remember?
The days when - like a small bird, awakened to the rays of the sun, and thinking that tomorrow would certainly come.

Wishing to be together forever, with the person you like
And in not being able to realize such a simple dream, are we being separated here?

Hurry! To the most important person
At this rate, I will really lose you, but before that happens
My answer, which has been already decided, will be to set these feelings into form.

Even at your side, I did not realize, what seems so apparent to me right now.
Perhaps compared to that time, I am closer to you.

But even just holding and protecting you with all my might, is something I cannot do
I have wrecked countless important things.

Run! My consciousness which has now become free
Reach! Soar, riding on feathers of primary colours
Surely it would be in time, we would definitely meet over at the furthest ends.

Hurry! To the person that is most important.
At this rate, I will really lose you, but before that happens
The answer, which has been already decided, we all have already known, will be to set these feelings into form.

We call "that" the future.

do not regret saying something vs the regret of being too late to say anything

2010-07-18T02:33:00.000+08:00

all still regrets.

絵夢〜for my dear〜

2010-07-10T01:48:00.007+08:00

絵夢〜for my dear〜
GACKT

突然の出会いへの心からの喜びと
「いつしか終わるかもしれない･･･」そんな感覚(きょうふ)に怯えて
そして瞳を見つめてた　何もわからずに
the pleasure that my heart feels from the sudden encounter conveys
that fearful dread - "it may be over without me noticing..."
and then looking intently into your eyes
without understanding anything

どれだけの思い出も夢のような幻で
いつまでも変わることのない　閉じ込められた君がいる
現在(いま)も瞳を見つめてた
何も変わらずに
to what extent of memories are likened to dreamlike illusions,
it would forever not change
you are there, being imprisoned
even now looking intently into your eyes
without changing anything

手を伸ばせば届いてた微笑みは儚くて
目を閉じれば腕の中で消えていく君を
もう一度抱きたくて
あの時、あの場所で出会ったことを忘れないから･･･
if I stretched out my hand, the smile that I reached is short-lived
if I closed my eyes wishing to embrace in my arms once again, you who have vanished
Because I can't forget that time, that place where we came across each other

風の中で踊る君の姿は
光に包まれていた
Your dancing figure in the wind
Being embraced by the light

君だけを見つめてた
僕は瞳を見つめてた
今も君だけを見つめてる
何も変わらずに
I fixed my eyes only on you
My eyes fixed upon yours
Even now I fix my eyes only upon you
without changing anything

手を伸ばせば届いてた微笑みは切なくて
目を閉じれば夢の中へ消えていく君を
もう一度抱きたくて
あの時、あの場所で出会ったことを忘れないから･･･
if I stretched out my hand, the smile that I reached is suffocating
if I closed my eyes wishing to embrace once again, you who have vanished into my dreams
Because I can't forget that time, that place where we came across each other

忘れないから･･･
Because I can't forget...

Lyrics shamelessly taken from Lyricwiki
Translation - self

amused

2010-07-09T00:03:00.002+08:00

on the cab ride home
- the driver started knn-ing every sentence while talking on the phone
- started with tyres squealing (for 0.5 sec) twice
- saw a crashed car at the traffic lights with the front almost totally gone, parts strewned around the road, fluid leaking, air bag popped out, driver walking around dunno doing what, entering passenger seat at the back. didn't see the car/thing he crashed into though.
- the cab drove past me after i alighted, going into the multi-storey car park to park and the driver came down the stairs, perhaps noticing me.

=)

2010-06-17T18:00:00.000+08:00

my firefox statusbar + a popup.

greasemonkey+rikaichan+tea timer yums

it's time for dinner.

2010-06-09T01:08:00.001+08:00

Colors
Sakamoto Maaya

suddenly,
everything i’ve ever known disappears
like a thought in a dream
and returns to silence
there’s nothing that i need
from the world behind
because it seems so faraway

i hear someone whisper into my ear
i turn around but find nothing there
until i look up
and i see colors of love
raining down on me

ride the light
i’m stepping out into open sky
and i’m not afraid of falling
i’m not scared to let go
so beautiful
and everything i ever wanted

blessings
flowing over me
growing
rolling over and over
never want to go back
to the way it was before

i hear someone whisper into my ear
i turn around but find nothing there
until i look up
and i see colors of love
raining down on me

cakes

2010-06-06T23:53:00.002+08:00

3 slices packed in a box,
those with a white creamy shell,
left untouched for hours,
on the table overnight.

only to find a most gruesome sight,
when opened next morning,
instead of cakes,
a white plump queen ant.

during a test

2010-06-01T09:35:00.000+08:00

a bullet through the centre of the forehead,
of an already dead stranger.
who had came alive in a nocturnal visitation,
only to die gruesomely once more.

86 - senses

2010-05-21T09:07:00.003+08:00

they are very funny.
they work together, but yet,
when one or two are down,
the others work harder.
They are also easily tricked.

87 - limbs

2010-05-20T11:24:00.002+08:00

blessed with our limbs,
we crawl we run we climb we swim.
taking them for granted,
misusing, abusing, neglecting.

88 - number of wishes

2010-05-19T15:16:00.002+08:00

typical stereotypes,
controlling my way of life,
and in turning a blind eye,
finding only that it's the third.

89 - every second matters

2010-05-18T10:21:00.002+08:00

alert freshness,
watchful seconds,
tick-tock tick-tock,
restraint order.

90 - the beginning

2010-05-17T17:15:00.001+08:00

not a race,
just a journey,
perhaps for eternity.

pockets of freshness

2010-05-03T09:44:00.001+08:00

In these still moments, everything seems to stand still
Like a stalemate, nothing ever moves Every non-move frustrates, every minute stretches into
What seem like eternity, with no sign of progression
But beneath the surface, pockets of freshness lies
Waiting to be released, to mingle to mix to bring new life
When the wind starts to blow again

nozy

2010-04-15T16:41:00.003+08:00

a stray of vision,
a sliver of memory,
a streak of anonymity,
a shoulder of woes.

a tap of keys,
a tinge of frantic,
a tomb unburied,
a twinge of sad.

an unheard-of tale,
an untold resolution,
an unmentionable feeling,
an undertaking of one.

vunerable,
wriggling,
xeromorphing yealings.

thinking and writing

2010-03-14T15:41:00.001+08:00

is such a pleasure that i had lost, once ago, and is now on the path of re-discovery.

TIL about performance and mastery orientation

2010-03-04T16:44:00.002+08:00

http://www.pixelpoppers.com/2009/11/awesome-by-proxy-addicted-to-fake.html

in short (pretty post short already), put in effort into the things i am doing/supposed to do!

edit: context http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/b8xvb/how_many_of_you_are_considered_unusually_smart/

もう学生じゃない

2010-02-18T12:43:00.002+08:00

悲しい現実だ。
今は働く人の考え方しかできない。もちろん勤務時間中にだけだ。

equines after dark

2010-02-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

when the darkness falls,
when lamps are turned on, artificial lights abuzz,
when the world slows down its motions,

this knightly beast calls,
yes, silently and stealthily as it does,
creeping up slowly invading private emotions.

it picks out fears and pains,
taking them, moulding them, crafting out a story,
deliver it right into the unsuspecting being,

nursing the trauma which triumphantly reigns,
rehearsing the dark story in all its glory,
feeding the ever-consuming.

softly,
gently,
quietly,
wordlessly,
sneaking,
slipping,
quickening,
threatening,
implant,
supplant,
undulant,
nonchalant,
petulant assailant,
tremulant flagellant,
FOO BAR BAZ!

stop feeding my mares.

disorderly

2010-01-25T16:18:00.003+08:00

it's time to change things, even if it means living an ascetic life for now.
it's time to bring about order, even if it means dictating my life on paper everyday.
it's time to be disciplined, and sustain it through and maintain it throughout.

IF I want to get somewhere, and not drift around aimlessly,
IF I want to be able to separate my work worries from personal worries,
IF this is what these 6 months has taught me.

And the time is now. *someone buy me an organizer that syncs with my computer that syncs with my ipod that syncs with my handphone.* ignorethepreviouslinerubbish.

*note to self
recheck priorities
evaluate time spent on low priorities
evaluate how to shift time around (whee~)

Even if

2010-01-24T00:22:00.004+08:00

Even if this is a dream,
even if it is not reality,
there are things that I've never seen,
things that I've never tasted,
things I've never experienced.

Even if the reality as I know crumbles into a million pieces,
I could still hang on, holding these pieces,
crafting together a landscape of dreams and reality.

Even if you are not here,
even if I'm still in a dark tunnel right now,
even if there's no return route,
even if I'm being hounded by my fears and heartaches,
even if I'm still confused,
even if I'm still lost.
Even if.

I still want to move forward,
I still want to believe,
I still want to carry on in my dreamscape.
To dance, to sing, to enjoy the cool night breeze,
to jump, to run, to soak in the warm bright sun.
To teach myself to be myself, not to fear being laughed at,
to be myself, not to be afraid of umscalable obstacles.
And lead myself onwards into the mysterious wonderful mesmerizing winding path of life.

*this took 1 week to transfer from my ipottouch to here. zzz. not very polished yet though. lazy to do more.

GIMPed

2009-12-30T00:37:00.001+08:00

a preview, using GIMP. will upload more once i have time to.

thinking and trying

2009-12-28T11:51:00.002+08:00

been so obsessed with thinking about things that i forgot to just try.

thank you.

thanks ah.

2009-11-10T08:36:00.003+08:00

I won't be using you soon at work, you *censored (but true)* program.

*edits* can't understand why you can't do an auto update like most other sensible (and many insensible too) software, oh wait i do understand. it's just called incompetency.
oh btw, hello digsby! you seem much more reliable, even can install when i have limited admin rights!

chicken and eggs

2009-11-09T23:42:00.003+08:00

would a person lose his humanity, if he is out of touch with humanity?
is it a inborn instinct, or a ability that we learn to put on?
when we slip back to the wilderness, without society, do we lose our ability to be human?
what is human?
our pride our greed our delight our agony our jealousy our intellect our ponderings our deities our obsessions our insatiable cravings.
a feral child. a jungle girl. are they human? they may be called socially impaired, but are they in the right society? they may be called mentally impaired, but can they survive on their own, left to their own devices? do we have the right to "bring them back to society", to "civilise" them, to "help them adjust back to a normal human's life"?

I am 25 mins late for experiment day one. shall start in 5 mins.

*edits* today shall be experiment day 0. let expt day 1 start tmr!!!

一人だけの所為じゃない

2009-10-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

What would it be like - to disappear completely from this world without leaving a trace.

Or to find that - whatever traces of a person that you have known have been completely been erased from existence, even from the memories of those who once knew and interacted with that person.

It may not be an overnight thing, for such things rarely happen in a short space of time, but over time people fade out of existence. Time's ravages, if you will call it that.

And so - would it be your fault for not taking the time to understand that person; for not sharing and asking to share; for not stringing a thread to that person; for not giving memories a chance to take root and grow.

Or would it be - the fault of that person for not reaching out; for hiding behind a veil of secrecy; for withdrawing from attention; for putting on social masks; for failing to open up, sharing life experiences, happiness, sadness, joy, surprises, disappointments, love, wishes, peace, troubles...

人と人の関係を成功させるのは、一人だけで決める事じゃない。

some rubbish that i typed out on the way home (edited some more after extraction), after reading 1235 pages of drawings. Such a hassle to transfer from ipod to pc. need to use sqlite3 db manager some more zzz.

playing around with heavy lens

2009-10-08T23:14:00.002+08:00

mediating, resting, shooting.

i wish she was less blurred

foggy lens, interesting lights

spiral of life

2009-09-26T10:57:00.004+08:00

couldn't get rid of the reflections ><. couldn't make the snails stand out more.

独りの太陽

2009-09-26T10:22:00.004+08:00

CB4D62AE

2009-09-22T13:55:00.002+08:00

fbzrbar cyrnfr ohl zr gur kxpq: iby 0
be creuncf v fubhyq ohl vg zlfrys.
*jbaqref vs v unir gvzr/cngvrapr/oenvaf gb svther gur yvggyr trrxl fghss vafvqr

uggc://fgber.kxpq.pbz/kxpq/?obbx#kxpqibyhzr0

sigh

2009-09-17T00:31:00.001+08:00

enough with the apple ipod fiddling.

The twisting agony of the heart

2009-09-16T23:51:00.000+08:00

Since a day along the riverside,
a table for 2 - outside a restaurant
what they ate, he can't remember
his mind filled only with questions,
of why, what, had gone wrong.

'Twas a holiday too,
commemorating a death of a saviour,
and yet then he was still unfamiliar
with how the saviour works,
how He is like, what He does by saving.

Perhaps it was for that very reason,
unspoken, but looming large,
or for another one, subtle creeping in,
destroying the supports of
the precariously reaching out of love.

And now he finds himself drifting in and out
never staying long, always looking,
partly afraid, partly hopeful, always wishful,
but never able to be the same as the first time,
for the heart wound remembers.

must be patient

2009-09-15T12:26:00.000+08:00

and tolerant and smiling and ladida
when
dealing with fyp student that goes ahahaha
when you are doing her work.

pluralis majestatis

2009-09-03T08:40:00.002+08:00

(pluralis maiestatis in Latin)
or more commonly known as the royal "we"
or 我々in Japanese

has popped out twice in the past 12 hours.

and the need for a royal "I"...

not that it will matter to you much,

2009-08-29T01:31:00.000+08:00

but i'll be praying for you.

and the wind howls around a silent room

2009-08-27T23:52:00.002+08:00

for it could not still itself,

shifting its body here and there,

not even stilling at the stop signs,

driving itself into secret crevices and dark cracks,

howling, gushing, like a lunatic,

and yet, not visible at all.

やっぱり、友達がうまくできない。やりたいだが、できない。やりすぎかも。

独りのспутник

2009-08-26T23:45:00.003+08:00

and had i thought, there was no way to express,

the loneliness of living alone in a crowd,

the pain of losing someone who was your only friend,

the slow but sure transition into an empty husk,

where you, clinging onto the already fading memories,

from a whole, to a half, and eventually to a zero.

and yet, continuing to live out this present life,

not whole, only a half, maybe less,

not feeling, only going through the motions,

not dead, only to move aimlessly,

just clutching at whatever that occupies,

to distract from whatever little hope left.

and so, with this little glimmer,

that allows you to continue to function,

that you hide so deeply inside,

that you have almost forgotten its existance,

for a future you pray, a real one,

where what you have lost, you will regain.

"I felt like I was some meaningless bug clinging for no special reason to a high stone wall on a windy night, with no plans, no beliefs." 村上

Vamps - Evanescent

2009-08-14T18:03:00.007+08:00

another attempt at translating HYDE's songs. zzz so poetic so hard to translate.

歌手：VAMPS
作曲：HYDE
填詞：HYDE

ここまで来たから心配しないで
Don't worry, for you have come so far

ほら又夏へと向かって行くのが眩しい
Look! the progression towards summer is again dazzling

あぁ、世界は風に揺れ
Aah, the world is swaying in the wind
潤んだ雨の跡映しても
even if remains of the wet rain are still reflecting
遠い日の影を僕は追掛てる
I am still chasing after the shadow of a faraway day

エヴァネッセント
Evanescent
素敵な記憶だけ残して行くから
because only beautiful memories are being left behind.
あぁ、巡る季節にも
Aah, even in the turn of the seasons
君の夢に居て戻れない
I cannot return into existence in your dream
想い返す度痛み響くのに
in spite of the pain that resounds, each time I remember

照りつく陽が眩しいほどに
Is it that the more dazzling the sun shines,
真黒に落ちた影は焼き付くのか
the more scorched the shadow that fell into darkness will be?

君が笑うから
Because you smile,
永遠を口にせず抱きしめた
I hugged you without speaking of eternity
手が届かない方へ消えて行かない様に
in order for you not to disappear into an unreachable place.

歳月は流れても止まない君の夢
Even the flow of time does not halt your dreams
夏へ向かって行くのは何て眩しい
The progression towards summer is astonishingly dazzling
あぁ
Aah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCcHbdYeEWQ

Is 君の夢 dreams of you, or your dreams? zzz.

looking forward to

2009-04-02T02:21:00.003+08:00

eden of the east
http://www.japanator.com/elephant/post.phtml?pk=9515

鋼の錬金術師
http://www.fullmetal-alchemist.com/
hopefully not a draggy retelling

end of the sem.
going to be busy busy busy, even after exams. a break would be good. a break in time.

泪のムコウ

2009-03-20T02:18:00.005+08:00

泪のムコウ (Beyond the tears)

誰かを悲しませてまで笑えなくても
そう言って彼女は俯いていたんだ
夜に泣いた
"As long as it does not make somebody sad, it's ok even if I cannot smile"
so said the girl, as she looked downcast
and cried through the night.

冷たく張り付いて凍えている
降り続く現実に傘などない
Freezing in the clinging coldness
As the reality continues to rain, there's not even an umbrella

生きて行く事が戦いなんだ
そんな理由だけで
閉じこめられた
My heart My story
"To live on is to fight"
for this only reason
that I had locked up
my heart my story

泪のムコウが見えるの輝いている
何時か出会える僕らのために
夜明けを待っている
誰かを悲しませてまで笑えなくても
そう言って彼女は俯いていたんだ
My story
Beyond the tears, that sparkling that you can see
that for our sake, so that we can meet someday
I'm waiting for the dawn
"As long as it does not make somebody sad, it's ok even if I cannot smile"
so said the girl, as she looked downcast
My story

月明かり濡れたまま座り込んだ
雨の町に灯りが灯るみたいに
Soaked in the moonlight, the rainy city sat and basked,
as if it is illuminated by a lamp

生きてゆけばいいただそれだけで
どんな理由だって
構わないから
My heart My story
It's good to live on, it's with only that
no matter what's the reason
I don't really care
my heart my story

泪のムコウが見えるの輝いている
小さな窓にはあの頃みたいに
青い空が映る
あぁ鳥のように飛べはしないけど...
Beyond the tears, that sparkling that you can see
from that small window, like that time
the image of the blue sky
aah but alas I can't fly like the bird...

無理に笑う事ないよ
そのままでいいんだよ
信じ続けていくだけ
I'm not forcing myself to laugh
It's ok just the way it is,
I just need to continue to believe.

泪のムコウが見えるの輝いている
闇をくぐればあの空はきっと
七色に変わる
Beyond the tears, that sparkling that you can see
When the darkness is driven away, the sky is surely
Full of varying colours

誰かを悲しませたとき感じる痛み
忘れないようにそっと瞳を閉じて
泣いた
The feeling of pain, when I made somebody sad,
In order not to forget that, I quietly closed my eyes
and cried.

Such a hard song (to translate) (for me).
Italics should be the way to go.
need to write more. speak more. zzz more.
I still want the singles, they are quite a great (and cute) band.
before it gets taken down: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn8UkKO21R4

and then

2009-02-28T19:10:00.003+08:00

and then, when the links break,
each and every
independent connections,
over and betwixt every island,
unable to establish a network.

and then the bridges, they
each yearn out to be built,
in the hope of restoring
once again the shared thoughts
understanding and supporting each other.

but then, the
connections that were
destroyed once,
fragmented since,
gone then,
has not the capability of
integrating the
jarring thoughts, the
kind only the original
links, untainted, pure, whole,
materialized from
natural interactions,
perceptions formed from
quantum observations,
resonating between the islands,
shimmering and
tinkling,
valuable as jewels
where islands communicate, through
xenoglossia, and then,
you should not ever
zap the initial links.

another one

2009-02-24T10:40:00.002+08:00

Subject: Free Ericsson Laptop

Dear all,

Ericsson is distributing free laptops for their brand promotion. They hope to increase their popularity and sale by
this campaign. All you need to do is send an email about this promotion to 8 people and you will receive an Ericsson
T18 Laptop. However, if you send an email to 20 or more people, you will receive an Ericsson R320 Laptop.

Make sure you cc to Anna at Ericsson anna.swelung@ericsson.com so that she will know you have sent the e-mail.

Thank you!

Stella Leong

DDI: 6398 5982

Main: 6222 9188 Fax : 6222 0998

Newstate Stenhouse (S) Pte Ltd

108 Middle Road, #04-00 Bright Chambers,

Singapore 188967

Co. Registration No. 197601846D

so obviously fake. even more so if you have received the "free phone" one.
firstly the email is the same/similar as the free phone one (don't ask me why i remember.
also a simple search will reveal that there are no T18 or R320 notebook. (they are hopelessly outdated handphone models.)
also #4-00 bright chambers sounds like a ?address.
(DDI and main tel has different starting phone numbers, but it might be possible.)
so don't bother forwarding.

IPPT

2009-02-09T14:39:00.001+08:00

ippt at maju on 24 Feb. >.<

temple visit

2009-02-01T19:01:00.003+08:00

Visited the buddhist temple which my father used to go. Attended the service early on the first morning of cny, after 2 years of "missing" it because we reached there late. So it was like my first temple visit/service after a long long time. Can't say i was very happy, especially after my conversion. However, some things have changed (or so it seemed) as compared to years ago.

The service consists of some lama (n.b. not llama, tibetan buddhism, check in wiki) chanting while the rest of the people listen/chant along. Then offering of some powdery stuff for burning. Then more chanting etc. Which was probably the usual.

What struck me was the explanation/purpose for the prayers/chants that they were doing, mostly for longevity or for good fortune or for prosperity. whatever happened to the abstinence of self indulgence? whatever happened to patience and quietness and peace of mind? whatever happened to spiritual growth?

No i have no problem with religions that try to promote happiness/well being. However, those that change/adapt themselves, running contrary to their basic beliefs, just to gratify the masses, that i cannot stand. Not just in this case, not just to buddhism, but also to "christianity" that stands for "health and wealth". Such promotion of religion will definitely appeal to part/majority of the masses, but what about the rest of the ideals? the rest of the doctrines? the rest of the principles?

the last straw was the shouts of "huat ah" at the end of the service. yes it's cny, yes most of us are chinese, yes it's a service specially for cny, yes we are money minded singaporeans, yes money is good, yes it pleases the crowd so i should not complain.

needless worry?

2009-01-22T01:13:00.001+08:00

気のせいだと思いたい

気になる事

2009-01-16T00:30:00.003+08:00

The Last Song
X Japan

Watching the stars till they're gone
Like an actor all alone
Who never knew the story he was in
Who never knew the story ends
Like the sky reflecting my heart
All the colors become visible
When the morning begins
I'll read last line

終わらない雨　抱きしめた　夜が朝を向かえる
心はまだ濡れたまま
(Embraced by the endless rain The night turns to morning
but my heart is still not yet soaked)

In endless rain I've been walking
Like a poet feeling pain
Trying to find the answers
Trying to hide the tears
But it was just a circle
That never ends
When the rain stops, I'll turn the page
The page of the first chapter

傷つくだけ　傷ついて　解ったはずの答えを
どうしてまだ　問いかけてる
(I have only been hurt Even though I know the reason for being hurt
Why do I still ask about it?)

Am I wrong to be hurt
Am I wrong to feel pain
Am I wrong to be in the rain
Am I wrong to wish the night won't end
Am I wrong to cry
But I know, It's not wrong to sing the last song
Cause forever fades

気がつけば又　独り夜の空を見つめてる
少しづつ消えて行く　Our　Memories
傷つくだけ　傷ついて　解ったはずの答えを
どうしてまだ　問いかけてる
(When I have noticed it, I am alone, again, gazing at night sky
Disappearing bit by bit, Our Memories
I have only been hurt Even though I know the reason for being hurt
Why do I still ask about it?)

I see red
I see blue
But the silver lining gradually takes over
When the morning begins
I'll be in the next chapter

終わらない雨　抱きしめた　夜が朝を向かえる
心はまだ濡れたまま
傷つくだけ　傷ついて　解ったはずの答えを
どうしてまだ　問いかけてる
(Embraced by the endless rain The night turns to morning
but my heart is still not yet soaked
I have only been hurt Even though I know the reason for being hurt
Why do I still ask about it?)

the proof

2009-01-15T07:46:00.001+08:00

kick me!

2009-01-06T14:31:00.001+08:00

i need to get my ass moving

無限の風

2008-09-19T22:17:00.005+08:00

作詞：森雪之丞
作曲：酒井良
編曲：酒井良
歌：GESANG

君の横顔を染めて
夕焼けが滲んでゆく　
The light of the sunset spreads, as it colours the side of your face.
空よ艶やかな色を　消さないで
Please don't disappear, this enchanting colour of the sky.

時と共に何もかも　
移ろって変わるんだね　
I guess just about everything changes with time,
君も「じゃあ…」と手をふって　歩きだす
You will also wave your hand and say goodbye, as you walk away.

でも変わらぬものがある
However, there are things that do not change,
言葉には　出せないまま
Things that remains unexpressed in words
心に溢れる思い
The thoughts that overflow from your heart.

切なさよ、さあ
Pain, come now,
優しい風になれ　今すぐ
Become a gentle wind right now.
流れてゆけ
Continue flowing on,
俯向く君の肩　包むように
To wrap around your downcast shoulders.
俺はいつも君を見つめてる
I am always fixing my eyes upon you,
たとえ遠い場所にいても
Even if you are in a far off place.

もしも生まれ変わっても
Even if I am able to be born again,
俺は俺に生まれよう
I would choose to be born again as myself.
そして君を見つけるよ　もう一度
And thus I would be able to find you, once again.

形あるもの全てに
In all the things that have a shape,
限りがあるとしたって
It’s been said that there exists a limit.
色褪せぬものはあると　伝えたい
I want to tell you that there are some things, that do not ever fade

ただ近くに君がいた
For you were nearby,
それだけで歩けたんだ
With that I could walk
どんなに険しい道も
However steep the road might be

淋しさよ、さあ
Loneliness, come now,
無限の風になれ　ここから
Become an eternal wind, from now on.
流れてゆけ
Continue flowing on,
一人歩く君の背中押して
Pushing you on from behind, while you walk alone.
見えぬ愛で君を助けたい
I want to support you with love unseen,
いつか再び会えるまで
Until I am able to meet you once more, someday.

今変わらぬものはただ
Now, the things that are unchanging are but
言葉には　ならなかった
What words cannot be used to express,
輝き続ける思い
These thoughts that continue to glitter.

切なさよ、さあ
Pain, come now
優しい風になれ　今すぐ
Become a gentle wind, right now.
流れてゆけ
Continue flowing on,
俯向く君の肩　包むように
To wrap around your downcast shoulders.
俺はいつも君を見つめてる
I am always fixing my eyes upon you,
たとえ遠い場所にいても
Even if you are in a far off place.

強くになれ

2008-09-16T22:57:00.001+08:00

迷う

2008-09-07T15:52:00.000+08:00

the red thread that binds

2008-09-04T10:24:00.002+08:00

for each and every person,
between each and every soul,
lies a red thread that binds,
from the heart, to the body, to the soul.

that red thread of fate,
ties our destinies together,
and our path crosses not by coincidence,
only by an inevitable necessity.

to know the reason of which we meet,
is to force a conclusion too hastily,
that even if we try to change,
the inevitable would no doubt be remain.

and thus let us not hastily judge,
nor find reason to escape so,
but steadfastly endure through,
and pray to unravel the tangled web.

letter

2008-07-03T15:50:00.002+08:00

just received this email today, first time i have received anything of this sort.

"R29-2974

Dear Sir/Mdm

NUS UNDERGRADUATE SCHOLARSHIP 2007/2008 (SEMESTER 2)

- RENEWAL OF SCHOLARSHIP

We have noted with concern your performance in the university examination for Semester 2 of AY2007/2008. Your performance has been up to expectations.

We are glad to inform you that your scholarship has been renewed for Semester 1 of AY2008/2009. Your performance will be closely monitored and your scholarship will be reviewed again at the end of the following semester.

As administrators of the scholarship scheme, we strongly urge you to focus all your attention on your academic pursuits and strive to do your best in the coming examinations. You must seek the advice of your lecturers/tutors at the university to address whatever problems you face in the subjects you are studying. You are also expected to attend all lectures, tutorials and lab sessions.

We wish you all the best in the coming semester.

Yours faithfully"

mmm. doesn't it seem scary?

We have noted with concern your performance in the university examination for Semester 2 of AY2007/2008.
Your performance will be closely monitored and your scholarship will be reviewed again at the end of the following semester.
we strongly urge you to focus all your attention on your academic pursuits
You are also expected to attend all lectures, tutorials and lab sessions.

makes me feel like i am a borderline case.
Right.

!@#$!@#

2008-06-21T07:08:00.003+08:00

the only day for almost 2 weeks that i could sleep in, i got woken up by the stupid !#$!@#$ (probably) malfunctioning fire alarm. grah.
walked ard, no smoke, no ppl screaming fire, fire, some ppl still cooking breakfast... like... !@#$!#$!@#$

Firefox 3

2008-06-02T00:23:00.001+08:00

tissue packet

2008-05-23T10:38:00.001+08:00

Meteor shower

2008-05-22T15:41:00.002+08:00

Had a weird dream last night. That there was a meteor shower, blueish whitish streaks across the sky. Was beautiful, yet at the same time, sad. And it was nighttime, a time of peace, of rest. Silence was all I could here. Where I, looking at the sky, found no one around me. Where the ephemeral and eternity combined to form a hauntingly beautiful scene.

negative zero

2008-05-20T17:52:00.001+08:00

the hole, cracked, ripped, torn asunder
where pain, flowing, coursing, pulsating through
the lines, streaked, veined, webbed over
where they separate into fragments, broken pieces.

time just seems to fly away

2008-05-16T00:52:00.001+08:00

when you are working. it's not good. i need to keep to my plan. but rainlackofsleepcounterstrikeanimestoning is taking up too much time. cut cut cut.

dream scape

2008-04-25T23:58:00.003+08:00

need to get this out of my system... translation i mean.

edit: forgot link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of_ctfM52LE

曲名：dream scape
アーティスト：FictionJunction KAORI

見たことのない草の海が
銀色に揺れてざわめいて
夢と現(うつつ)の境目あたりの景色

the sea of grass that I've never seen before,

swaying and rustling in silver

such is the scenery bordering between dreams and reality

君に出会うため？
それともまだ見ない誰かの瞳のため
風を分けて行く
dream scape

is it for the sake of meeting you?

or is it for the eyes of someone that I haven't seen?

Separating the wind as I go on,

Dream scape

もうすぐ鳴るね、目覚ましの音
でもその先もまだ夢かもしれないね
大事なものは何処にいたってあまり変わらないよね

Soon it will ring right? the sound of the alarm clock

But after that is might be another dream

The important things do not really change very much

目覚めてもまだここにいようと思うよ
それが勇気というものかとも思うよ

Even after waking up I think I will remain here.

I think that’s surely the thing called “courage” right?

sittin' in the silence...everlasting night breeze...
(I believe...I deceive...I relieve...)
暗すぎて見えないだけさ……
in my......

sitting in the silence… everlasting night breeze…

(I believe… I deceive… I relieve…)

It’s just that it is too dark that I can’t really see…

In my…

泣きたくなくて放ってあった胸のササクレに
今頃追いかけられて息もつけなくて
しがみついていた真実がボロボロに枯れて落ちるまで

The splinter of my heart that I abandoned because I did not want to cry,

Is now chasing me that I can’t even catch my breath,

Until the truth that I clung onto crumbles away piece by piece, withering.

今ちょっと見えないだけさ……

It’s just that I can’t really see now…

現実だって夢だって君を迷わせるだけだからさ

Whether it is reality or a dream, it’s because it will only just confuse you.

坂道の上の曲がり角、幾つでもその先に行きたい
音楽の中にしか無い風景の向こうへ
暗すぎて見えないだけさ……

No matter how many bends there are up on the hilly road, I want to go beyond them

To the scene that is only present in music.

It’s just that it is too dark that I can’t really see.

夢の続きには夢が
七色の迷路みたいに
音階の無い草笛に歌を見つけるために
広すぎて目がくらんでも
歌いすぎて喉がかれても
見たことのない草の海を
たとえ君がいなくなっても

The continuation of a dream is another dream

Resembling a maze of prismatic colours.

For the sake of finding a song in a reed that cannot play scales,

Even if my eyes are dazzled by the vastness,

Even if my throat grows hoarse from singing too much,

The sea of grass that I have never seen before…

Even if you were to disappear…

暗すぎて見えないだけさ……
sittin' in the silence...everlasting night breeze...
dream scape

It’s just that it’s too dark that I can’t really see

sittin' in the silence...everlasting night breeze...
dream scape

The garden of everything

2008-04-16T15:58:00.003+08:00

a totally beautiful song. Just FYI, Steve Conte sang some songs in cowboy bebop, and Maaya Sakamoto is... Maaya Sakamoto! she has been in the voice acting/singing business for as long as i can remember... (Haruhi in Ouran, Hitomi in Escaflowne...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q65TCFBosWY

*edit: the previous version's romanji sucked big time... looked as if the person was listening to 96kbps version or something. and half guessed the japanese parts. so i had to guess it myself. but i think it's much better. anyway the youtube one is also a bit wrong. and i did some translation =)

Steve Conte + Maaya Sakamoto (坂本真綾)
Steve Conte:
Here you are
Daylight Star
Made out of miracles

Perfection of your own
You alone
Oh so incredible

Each atom sings to me
Set me free
From chains of the physical
Oh free me
Oh free me

Steve Conte and Maaya Sakamoto:
The mirror melts
Somewhere else
Inside eternity

Where you, on outstretched wings,
Sing within
The garden of everything

Where memories call to me
Backward dreams
Or phantom reality
Call to me
Call to me

Steve Conte:
So here we are lovers of lost dimensions
Maaya Sakamoto:
Hika wa ima kaze ni notte haruka tooi

悲歌は今風に乗って遥か遠い　

(The sad melody is now being carried by the wind to the faraway place)

Steve Conte:
Burning supernovas, of all sound and sight
Maaya Sakamoto:

anata no moto e

あなたの元へ
(where you are)
Steve Conte:
Every touch, a temptation
Maaya Sakamoto:
Itsuku sora wa hitotsu ni tsunagaru

いつか空は一つに繋がる

(There will be a day where the sky is connected together)
Steve Conte:
And for every sense, a sensation
Maaya Sakamoto:

Watatte yukeru anata no moto e

渡ってゆけるあなたの元へ

(crossing over to the place where you were)

Steve Conte:
Eyes of pure
Deep azure
Quite unbelievable

Sun's daughter, you've been made
Not to fade
Quite inconceivable

Each atom sings to me
Set me free
From chains of the physical
Oh free me
Oh free me

Steve Conte and Maaya Sakamoto:
A love like ours
A starry flower
Through seasons and centuries

As rivers reach the sea
You reach me
With songs of your symmetry

A small boat, there will float
To far off coasts
The Isle of Infinity
Come with me
Come with me
Come with me
Come with me

Here we'll see
Love's lost tree
Made out of miracles

Emotions, crystal leaves
To cover me,
And you in eternity

Each atom sings to us
Through the blood
Love is a miracle
Sing softly
Sing softly
Sing softly
Sing softly

Steve Conte:
So here we are lovers of lost dimensions
Maaya Sakamoto:
Hika wa ima kaze ni notte haruka tooi

悲歌は今風に乗って遥か遠い　

(The sad melody is now being carried by the wind to the faraway place)

Steve Conte:
Burning supernovas, of all sound and sight
Maaya Sakamoto:
anata no moto e

あなたの元へ
(where you are)
Steve Conte:
Every touch, a temptation
Maaya Sakamoto:
Itsuku sora wa hitotsu ni tsunagaru

いつか空は一つに繋がる

(There will be a day where the sky is connected together)
Steve Conte:
And for every sense, a sensation
Maaya Sakamoto:
watatte yukeru anata no moto e

渡ってゆけるあなたの元へ

(crossing over to the place where you were)

Steve Conte:
So here we are twin stars, brilliant brightness
Maaya Sakamoto:
Hika wa ima kaze ni notte haruka tooi

悲歌は今風に乗って遥か遠い　

(The sad melody is now being carried by the wind to the faraway place)

Steve Conte:
Lanterns lit by life for all the depths of night
Maaya Sakamoto:
anata no moto e

あなたの元へ
(where you are)
Steve Conte:
And every day will return us
Maaya Sakamoto:
Itsuku sora wa hitotsu ni tsunagaru

いつか空は一つに繋がる

(There will be a day where the sky is connected together)
Steve Conte:
To arms of the ever eternal
Maaya Sakamoto:
Watatte yukeru anata no moto e

渡ってゆけるあなたの元へ

(crossing over to the place where you were)

Steve Conte:
So here we are, so far from earthly orbits
Maaya Sakamoto:
Hika wa ima kaze ni notte haruka tooi

悲歌は今風に乗って遥か遠い　

(The sad melody is now being carried by the wind to the faraway place)

So here we are
Steve Conte:
Burning supernovas, of all sound and sight
Maaya Sakamoto:
anata no moto e

あなたの元へ
(where you are)
Steve Conte:
Where every day will return us
Maaya Sakamoto:
Itsuku sora wa hitotsu ni tsunagaru

いつか空は一つに繋がる

(There will be a day where the sky is connected together)
Every day will return us...
Steve Conte:
To arms of the ever eternal
Maaya Sakamoto:
Watatte yukeru anata no moto e

渡ってゆけるあなたの元へ

(crossing over to the place where you were)

Steve Conte:
Here we are...
Maaya Sakamoto:
Here we are...

Steve Conte & Maaya Sakamoto:
Lovers of lost dimensions

Steve Conte:
Where every day will return us
To arms of the ever (+Maaya Sakamoto): eternal

my first time

2008-04-04T01:00:00.002+08:00

trapped in a lift!

pressing this... doesn't really help much
no telephone number in the lift to call too...

let us out!!!

err.

aftermath 1.

aftermath 2.

思い出憶千万

2008-03-20T02:28:00.003+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqT1SAPfF_w

子供の頃　やった事あるよ
I have done this before, when I was a kid
色褪せた記憶だ　紅白帽　頭に
A faded memory, a red and white cap on my head
ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
Ultraman, Ultraman seven

子供の頃　懐かしい記憶
The dear memories when I was a kid
カレーとかの時に　銀のスプーン目にあて
When having curry or something, putting the silver spoon to my eyes
ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
Ultraman, Ultraman seven

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
But now, such things were long forgotten
何かに追われるように　毎日生きてる
Living everyday, as if being chased by something

振り返っても（忘れていたアルバムの中に）
Even as I look back (In the forgotten album)
あの頃には（馬鹿やってる自分）
to that time which (of me doing stupid things)
戻れない（友達と笑って）
I can't return to (laughing together with friends)
ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
Ultraman, Ultraman seven

今あいつらどこに居るの？何をしているの？
Right now, I wonder where they are, what they are doing
答えはぼやけたままで
The answer is unclear
ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
Ultraman, Ultraman seven

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
But now, such things were long forgotten
何かに追われるように　毎日生きてる
Living everyday, as if being chased by something

君がくれた勇気は　億千万　億千万
The courage that you had given me was unmeasurable
過ぎ去りし季節は　ドラマティック
The seasons that had passed were dramatic

子供の頃　やった事あるね
I have done this before, when I was a kid
雑誌に付いてきた　３Ｄメガネかけ
Wearing the 3D glasses that came with magazines
ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
Ultraman, Ultraman seven

大人になり　忘れてた記憶
The memories that were forgotten after becoming an adult
蘇る　鮮やかに　腕でＬ字作り
Were recalled vividly, making a L with my arms
ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
Ultraman, Ultraman seven

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
But now, such things were long forgotten
何かから逃げるように　毎日生きてる
Living everyday, as if escaping from something

振り返っても（古ぼけた日記帳　開き）
Even as I look back (opening the musty diary)
あの頃には（色褪せた　ページには）
to that time which (in the faded pages)
戻れない（初恋の娘の名前）
I cannot return to (the name of my first love)
ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
Ultraman, Ultraman seven

ただあの頃　振り返る　無邪気に笑えた
Just looking back at those times, when I laughed innocently
汚れも知らないままに
Not even aware of impure things.
ウルトラマン　ウルトラマン　セブン
Ultraman, Ultraman seven

でも今じゃそんな事も忘れて
But now, such things were long forgotten
何かから逃げるように　毎日生きてる
Living everyday, as if escaping from something

見過ごしてた景色は　億千万　億千万
The seasons that were overlooked were priceless
過ぎ去りし季節は　グラフィティ
The seasons that passed were dramatic

君がくれた勇気は　億千万　億千万
The courage that you had given me was unmeasurable
過ぎ去りし季節は　ドラマティック
The seasons that passed were dramatic

should be familiar for those rockman players. (maybe i'm the only one.)